Computer Entertainment 1985 Arcade Trivia Review Simulator by Number Eight Software

 

Computer Entertainment 1985 Arcade Trivia Review Simulator by Number Eight Software for ZX Spectrum 48K

This game embodies the spirit of this contest.

(this comment has nothing to do with the outcome of this review or the final score, but I had to say it!).

   The huge and world-famous company Number Eight Software presents this extremely absurd game, which is not based on an existing game, but on the review of an old game. Originality enters the room on the back of a huge war horse.

   The author (or the whole team, I don't know) found a review of a game for the sad-coloured enemy that he (or they) found so brutally honest that he (or they) decided to make a game about the article, not the game the article was about.

   This aroused enormous curiosity in me. Thanks to the link in the instructions/description/illustrative document that has been kindly put together to terrify future players, I was able to read the article directly from the original magazine.

(Great touch of turning the original cover into the game's loading screen)

   And yes, the review is...

  

   ...great !!!

   It doesn't show any pictures of the game, though, so I had to satisfy my curiosity and see if it was free to download and play. Done. The game is a bit weird and boring, that's all.

  

   But forget the game, Number Eight Software's contribution is a faithful but creative interpretation of the old magazine article.

   After the great loading screen and the intro:

(with the A in Arcade wrongly separated to make me steam)

   We then are gifted free of charge with pieces of the original review from which every part of this game is inspired and a set of instructions of some sort.

 

(How the color monitor issue is brilliantly solved can be read in the pdf attached by the huge and famous Number Eight Software company, don't miss it)

   After overcoming the introduction and the visual pain of A for Arcade, it's time to play.

   Er... no.

   A black screen then appears with a highlighted sentence from the original review. The dish is accompanied by a salad of annoying noises that someone thought was a cheerful ditty:

   When the melody is over, the screen is wiped with each paper colour:

   But then... Another sentence! And the irritating tune! And the screen wipe again!

(see what you mean...)

   And another:

   It goes on and on, up to eight times! I didn't understand anything. But one of the screens is black, no text, just a long beep... And I burst out laughing. Wonderful, wonderful, absurd humour. After that, nothing could take my smile away, and I understood all the nonsense.

    You will then be asked to enter your first name, surname and nickname and then... you are welcomed as Player 1! So great (absurd screen wiping included, of course).

   Now it's time to choose the category on which you're going to be quizzed. Frenzied action, time is against you. Shoot one of these hidden categories:

   The questions are very varied. It is not clear to me whether the answers are accepted correctly or whether it is a random issue. I'm sure I get a lot of them right, but I get a negative almost every time.

   Suspiciously, Player 2 always gets it right and takes advantage easily.

   But now, instead of freaking out, I can see the coding team in my mind:

   

   And if that wasn't enough suffering (remember the criticism in the original review), after each turn you have to be patient and play a Death Metal LP at full volume to muffle the terrible beeps that accompany your cursor as it advances according to the points scored to get the word TRIVIA.

   Once more, at Number Eight Software...

   Player 2, evil incarnation, scores all the time:

   The following screenshot is taken from the included manual. I wasn't able to finish the game, as humans shouldn't be awake for more than 72 hours for mental health reasons, or so I was told:

   This is not the end of the story. Due to the great financial strength of the galactically renowned company participating in our contest, we are receiving what they call the 'HIT-PAK' of Trivia absolutely free of charge.

   " The "Trivia Timer Simulator" - the perfect companion program for CE1985ATRS!!! " - quote from the author's email.

   This advanced program is the result of industrial espionage towards Bandai, so I dare not describe it in detail for fear of being sued. Instead, I will give you a few pictures of it to give you an idea of its phenomenal features.

(Ssssh, don't comment on it...)

   If we can put all the pieces together, we get: A great piece of crap game full of humour and absurdity. Equal parts deranged and hilarious. I can't stand those randomly cut and misplaced words on the screen, and it just adds up. Visually and aurally it pursues and achieves its goal: a well put together pile of funny crap.

Scrambled Smile: 10/10

Broccoli and Squid Yoghourt: 9/10

Deep Fried Ice Cream: 2/10

Strawberry Monosodium Glutamate: 6/10

Affable Hot Chocolate Sauce: 10/10